August 2nd, 2018 at 1pm (I. P. Pavlova, Prague)

by Derek Clark


I thought I would have to cancel this trip to Prague. As my sisters health deteriorated it was looking more likely that I would be staying home. But we're here now, grieving earlier than expected, in a strange country, in blistering hot sunshine that has no place in the world of grief.

I've brought my Domke F-3X bag on this trip, but forgone putting a smaller bag in my luggage as I often do. At times that's felt like a mistake as I've been carrying a bit too much kit. X-Pro2, X100F and the X70 are in there, as are the 50/2 and the Samyang 12/2.8. A camera bag always feels twice as heavy an hour after you leave the hotel. The X70 charger is no longer working, so I’m on my last battery and after that the camera will staying in the safe for the rest of this trip. Lucky I brought the WCL-X100 for the X100F, so I'll still have a 28mm.

The light is so much better here than in the UK and It's a welcome distraction when I get in the zone shooting street photography for a while. But we're taking the morning off and I'm writing this by the swimming pool. The kids are playing with a GoPro and Fe is lying on the lounger next to me. It's strange the way normal life goes on, but I'm glad it does. There is an odd feeling of guilt though. Guilt for being on holiday so soon after my sisters death. Guilt for leaving my parents behind at this time. But mostly just guilt for being here, having a life and waking up each day.

Derek Clark

Documentary photographer based in Scotland, UK. Winner of UK professional Photographer of the Year 2012 in the News category and member of The Kage Collective.